I need to forgive myself first so I can find peace to forgive others.
These statements sound good. You may feel good saying them or hearing them said. Why, they may even sound biblical. But….they are not. They are the world’s view of self and image.
God’s view is much different. His take on this issue of self is that I already love myself, and that I will most naturally do what I think is in my best interests by default.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ephesians 5:29
This verse says that no human being, at any-time, anywhere, has ever truly hated himself, but that instead we as human beings innately provide for ourselves and care for ourselves. In other words, I am automatically concerned about myself already.
Did you look in the mirror this morning after you woke up? Most likely you did. I did. Why? Because I love myself! I want me to look good – or at least as close as I can manage to get to that ideal. (side note: pre-teen boys don’t count in this particular sociological study, as they generally don’t care what they look like regardless of the situation. Ask me how I know).
Here’s another experiential proof. When you cut your finger on something, what do you do? I mean a really serious cut. Go watch TV? Scroll social media? Go out and get something to eat? No! You stop and take care of the wound. No one has to tell you to do that. You just do it. Because you just care about yourself by default.
Another example: I can tell you from years of ministry experience that the hardest thing to do is to motivate and lead volunteers who are hungry and ready to eat. Why? Because if we are hungry, we are concerned about one thing – nourishing ourselves! Maybe that’s why Jesus said “feed My sheep”, I’m not totally sure.
Perhaps my favorite illustration of this is that when traveling on an airplane, during the safety briefing, they tell you that if the oxygen levels drop in the plane, masks will drop, and you should put your mask on before helping someone else. I want to say to the flight attendant giving the briefing – “Oh don’t worry about that! Everyone is definitely going to be concerned about themselves first!”
Hopefully you are convinced of the fact that, well, we love ourselves. We’ve looked at one teaching on the idea of self from Scripture and several experience-based examples, but let’s look at one more passage:
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4
Look out not only for your own interests – God assumes here that we take care of ourselves. We are not commanded here to love ourselves. God knows we already do that. He assumes it. It’s who we are. Congratulations – your self-care is perpetually on auto-pilot. Great job, you.
In fact, nowhere in Scripture are you told to love yourself. Think about that. Of all the things that God says to do and not to do in the Bible – all the important instructions that He knew we needed – “love thyself” is not one of them.
There’s a lot of talk about how AI is going to replace many of the jobs in our world today.
Glenn Beck has a fascinating article that I recommend you read and think about.
Over the next decade, entire careers may be replaced by artificial intelligence. And I think that is a distinct possibility – even a likely reality. But there’s one career – or I prefer the term calling – that will never be replaced by AI.
AI will simply never be able to replace the job of a pastor.
Pastors hear God’s words, like the prophets of old, and deliver God’s message to His people. This is spiritual work. God speaks to the heart of man. He communes with man’s spirit. AI contains no spirit and therefore cannot receive the things of the Spirit of God.
It’s like trying to use a lightning cable when all you’ve got is a 30-pin phone. It’s not compatible.
I have no doubt that AI will be used – and probably is being used – to write sermons (oh the humanity!). But these sermons will be as dry as a creek bed during drought. AI has no ability to hear from God out of His living Word, and therefore cannot impart to us a message from God.
Yes, AI will be able to collate millions of sermons and commentaries and Bible studies and have a conversation with you about them. In fact, I think this is a good thing. I’ve personally used AI for biblical research. It’s amazing! It will even be able to apply those things to your specific situation. But it will not be able to hear from God directly. And that’s the difference.
AI will only have second-hand spiritual knowledge. Pastors and preachers have firsthand knowledge from God Himself – that is tailored to time, people, and place. It’s the difference between sitting with someone who sat with an author vs. sitting with the Author Himself.
I think this will become increasingly obvious as our use of AI becomes more prevalent. We will discover that AI is much better than us at problem-solving, and much worse at trying to give spiritual insight. At least I hope it will be obvious. My concern is that it will not be, and will pull many pastors and churches down into a place of second-hand spiritual relationship. But I digress….
A pastor with a calling will be needed and wanted the more that we merge with AI in our day-to-day lives. We will be intuitively aware that we need something beyond machine – something beyond intelligence – something spiritual.
Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.1 Peter 3:7
God’s Word (not me!) says that women are weaker than men, and that men should value them and care for them.
Weaker in what way, you might ask? Are women weaker mentally than men? Certainly not! The valedictorian of the college I serve at is often a woman! Are women weaker spiritually? Definitely not. Are women weaker emotionally Well,…sometimes….maybe alot?….maybe sometimes not at all.
But those areas are not the main thrust of this passage.
Are women weaker physically than men? Absolutely they are. It is God’s design, it is God’s plan, it is God’s template that men are stronger, bigger, faster, and generally taller than women.
And men are to be aware of that fact, and to put a value (honor) on their wives. When something is very valuable, what do you do with it? You protect it!
Men are made to be protectors. It is in our nature. It is in our physical design.
It’s 2:00AM and there is a loud noise downstairs in the house. Both husband and wife wake up. Who goes downstairs to check on the noise? The husband! It is built in to our nature as men!
Men are also spiritual protectors. We are also to lead our families spiritually (Ephesians 5) and that means protecting them from anyone who would negatively influence them.
I protect my marriage by making wise decisions.
I protect my children from negative influences and evil on the internet.
Perhaps the best illustration of a protector is a lion. A lion’s roar is one of the most powerful things in nature. I remember we were at the zoo with my family and we were on the other side of the zoo – far away from the lion enclosure – and you could still hear the lion roar from far away. And when it roared it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It makes you “stop in your tracks”. A lion’s roar can be heard up to 5 miles/8 kms away! And while all of that is interesting it’s even more interesting to study why a lion roars.
Scientist have discovered that a lion roars for several reasons. Sometimes a lion roars to warn off intruders. Other times a lion roars to startle prey so it’s easier to catch. Other times a lion roars to reunite his pride members who have been scattered. Sometimes a lion roars to attract a female lion (I’m sure you knew that). But the most interesting reason a lion roars is that he roars to declare dominion.
When a lion is in his own territory within his own domain, he will roar multiple times over the course of several hours – usually at night – when the pride is most vulnerable. The lion roars as if to communicate “I have dominion over this land, I am protecting and leading this pride.” The roar also sends a reassuring sound of security to the members of the lion’s pride.
Men: when was the last time you roared? When was the last time your family felt your protection and leadership in their life? When was the last time your family felt secure because of your presence?[2]
Real men are protectors.
[2] This illustration is largely from Tony Evan’s book “Kingdom Man”. I highly recommend it.
Real men are more developed physically than boys, and real men take care of their bodies.
This is especially good practice for Christian men, in light of 1 Corinthians 6:19-20:
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Area #2: Mental Development
Real men take care of their minds, learn new things, grow in their knowledge and understanding and wisdom
Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7
Men, read something this week! Turn off Youtube and read something!
Area #3: Relational Development
Real men live in peace and with love in their families and communities, helping others whenever needed. Real men have healthy relationships with those around them.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.Romans 12:18
Area #4: Character Development
Real men are men of integrity, of perseverance, of saying and doing what is right.
Character is who you are when everyone is looking, and who you are when no one is looking.
Area #5: Spiritual Development
A real man is serious about his relationship with Christ. A real man seeks to be discipled and to disciple others.
