This is the second post on balance, the first being on the balance of hearing and doing. On the topic of finding a balance of grace and truth in our lives, the Bible says this:
Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3
In other words, grace and truth should be with you always. Like a necklace that you would wear. They should be – figuratively of course – written on your heart. They should be a part of who you are – apart of your character. Both of them. Not one or the other. Both. At the same time. Balanced. Interwoven. Apart of each other. Inseparable.
If you do this, you will have favor and a good reputation with God and also other people. In other words, this is a great way to live!
The problem is when we choose one or the other; when we make it an either/or decision.
Sometimes we choose one over the other in a moment. Think about the last time you had an argument – or a fight! – with a family member. It was probably full of truth, but not much grace! Or think about the last time you didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, so you really did not give them the whole truth of what you thought and were just – well – kind.
Sometimes we deceive ourselves in choosing one over the other permanently. I have heard people say “well I just speak my mind”, or “I just don’t have any mercy”, or “I just don’t want to be too hard and unkind”. What they are telling themselves is that they are simply not capable – their DNA does not allow them – to have both grace and truth in their lives. And they are right! We cannot do this on our own.
But if Christ’s Spirit lives in us and empowers us and guides us then we absolutely can live this way.
When we act and live one without the other, we are out of balance. And it has consequences.
When you act truthfully without grace, that is called self-righteousness. You are not giving any grace; you are giving what truth alone would rightfully give them. You are assuming that you are always right, and no one deserves any forgiveness. If God dealt with us this way, none of us would survive one more second.
On the other hand, when you act graciously without truth, you are informing the world that you believe there are no boundaries, no reality, and we can live as we please. Many times, grace without truth leads to destruction of relationships and people. The parent who is not willing to give the child truth through correction, ends up creating an adult sized baby. The spouse who is not willing to share their true feelings about their unhealthy relationship, creates a chasm between them and their partner. And on and on.
The Bible says that Jesus is full of grace and truth [Jn 1:14].
This means that first of all, He is full of the grace of God that seeks the good of everyone – unbelievers included. This grace and love flows out of His entire being. AT THE SAME TIME – in order to bring about God’s gracious plan of redemption, Jesus proclaimed the Truth of God in word and deed with absolute accuracy and perfection. The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ embodies both grace and truth for us – our sin debt is paid and we didn’t have to pay for it!
In “full of grace and truth” the and is significant!
God wants me to have this perfect balance of grace and truth in my life as well.
Christ in the House of Martha and Mary by Diego Velázquez (1618)
Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42
So here we have Martha the doer and Mary the hearer. The question is – is Jesus saying that one is right and one is wrong?
Did Jesus say that Martha was wrong for serving? No. Serving is not wrong, in fact Jesus teaches us to serve throughout Scripture.
It’s important to consider each word in Scripture when you study. Jesus said that Martha was “distracted with much serving” or in other words, “anxious with a lot of ministry”.
The idea is that she had too much to do. Why was it too much? Because she did not have time for the Lord.
He was teaching her (and us) that she was out of balance. Her priorities were not in order. She was not focused at all on Jesus and His teachings.
It is possible to be in ministry and serving the Lord, and be so busy that you do not have time for the Lord. That is when you are too busy! You are out of balance.
Have you ever been out of balance? I have!
Instead, we should strive to find the right balance – the balance of hearing and doing. It is not either/or. It is both/and. It is not choose one over the other. It is choose both!
Warren Wiersbe said that we should imitate Martha in our service and Mary in our worship.
Do not be a hearer only. But also, do not be a doer only. Both of these extremes are out of balance!
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed. Proverbs 13:20
The company we keep is important. The friends we have influence us in one direction or the other. We must have discernment in our social relationships, a vital area of family vision.
Parents, for your children, You ARE their discernment while they are still young. That is your job as a parent.
Part of developing healthy social relationships is the development of social skill. These skills are so important as children become young adults and then become adults seeking employment. People with good social skills, who know how to wisely, correctly treat others and build relationships, go much farther and faster than adults who do not know how to interact well with others.
Studies from the Carnegie Institute of Technology revealed that 15% of success in a career is the skill/expertise/technical knowledge, while 85% is due to skill in relationships – personality and the ability to relate to and lead other people. (Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People)
A family with vision will work to build wise, healthy relationships and the skills that go along with them.
As part of inventing the future of your family, have a vision for your social health! Do not just think about what is now – think about what could be in the future! Work to cultivate wise, healthy relationships with those around you.
The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness, The world and those who dwell therein.
Psalm 24:1
One day when the English theologian and preacher John Wesley was riding back home after a time away, someone came running up to him as he approached the area where his home stood, saying, “Your house has burned down! Your house has burned down!” Wesley replied, “No, it hasn’t, because I don’t own a house. The one I have been living in belongs to the Lord, and if it has burned down, that is one less responsibility for me to worry about.”
One of the most important growth moments in the life of a believer is when they come to realize that everything is God’s and we are just the managers.
God owns everything and everyone on earth, and God has appointed us as His management.
If we are called to manage what we have been given, we should have a plan, a vision for our financial lives.
I am not talking about fanciful dreams about being a billionaire. I am talking about a real, solid, plan and vision for managing and growing what you have been given.
Here are a few practical goals for family finances: Start living on a budget Get out of debt Start saving every month Start a new job/career or something on the side
Just examples, but these are vision! These are goals, plans, something to pursue. Your debt will not pay itself off. You will not magically have the money to pay your electric bill at the end of the month if you don’t save for it, etc.
A wise family has a vision for the story of their financial future, and they take steps to write it. They manage what God has given to them for His glory.
What kind of vision (preferred idea of the future) do you have for your family’s finances?
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of the Christian life is: a healthy lifestyle.
We do not often think of eating healthy or exercising as spiritual activities, but they are wholly connected to our lives in Christ. As Christians we are to glorify God in our physical body, because it has been bought with a price – the precious blood of Christ. It is now the temple of the Holy Spirit! It is the dwelling place of God!
This verse is one of the main arguments for abstaining from alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc. They destroy the temple of the living God! It is comparable to vandalizing the temple of God. But even more than abstaining from “bad” things, it means involving yourself actively in making wise health decisions.
Make healthy eating choices. Get physical exercise. Get proper rest.
This is not a health or PE class, but the point is biblical – we have a stewardship to care for our body – because it is not our own. So don’t just do it for yourself and your own benefit – do it for the Lord!
A wise family has a vision for their physical health and well being and makes plans accordingly.
Last week I started this series discussing having a spiritual vision for your family. Today, let’s consider an intellectual vision as part of the process of inventing the future of our families.
The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Proverbs 18:15
Prudent gives the idea of someone who is discerning, who considers things, who is careful intellectually. In other words, someone who is thoughtful. Thoughtful people acquire – or find – knowledge. Amazing concept right? A wise person seeks – begs for, longs for – knowledge.
Interestingly, this verse does not say that only school children ages 3 to 14 do this. It does not say that this only applies to a new worker during the first few weeks on the job. God gives no age limit or categories here. This is for everyone of every age and station of life. A biblical picture of lifelong learning.
An intentional family will have an intellectual vision for each person of the family and the family as a whole.
We know that knowledge begins with the fear of the Lord (Prov 1:7). So start with yourself. Grow in your knowledge of the Lord. Feed yourself.
There are so many ways to learn today that we have no excuse! So many things available at our finger tips.
Reading is the greatest intellectual advantage in the world. If you are a reader, you can teach yourself anything, you can acquire knowledge about any subject.
Supplementary to that are podcasts, videos, sermons, Bible study books, devotional books, etc, etc.
Learning opens opportunities to excel in your life. Learning opens doors and enable you to serve other people.
Parents – turn off the TV. Turn off the tablet. Teach your children to seek knowledge. Teach them to be hungry to know the Lord, and to explore the world that He has given us to explore.
A family inventing the future is made up of wise people, prudent people, who have a vision to pursue knowledge and benefit from it.
“The best way to predict the future is to invent it”
– Alan Kay
Over the next few weeks, I plan to post a series of blogs centered around 5 key areas for a family vision. Today, we focus on the most important: a spiritual vision.
Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. Luke 9:23
Jesus said that if you are following Him, that it means something. It means you will take up your cross – that you will sacrifice and suffer with Him, for Him. Daily! This is what it means to be an active follower of Christ.
The spiritual life of your family is not a joke. It cannot be a game. It cannot be something else on your calendar.
You must have a spiritual vision for your family members:
A vision for their salvation A vision for their service A vision for their surrender
Those are really three areas of spiritual growth. You get saved, you begin to serve, and you fully surrender. It’s a process we can see in the Bible, and in our own lives.
Parents – your children need to see the reality of your faith.
They need to know your faith in Christ is real.They will not see that if you never come to church. They will not see that if you never read your Bible or pray. Your spouse needs to see that your relationship with the Lord has a real impact on your decisions, on your actions, on your life.
Pray for your spouse, your children, your extended family and their spiritual growth.
Have a vision for every member to be an active follower of Christ.
Studies from the Carnegie Institute of Technology revealed that 15% of success in a career is the skill/expertise/technical knowledge applied, while 85% is due to skill in relationships – personality and the ability to relate to and lead other people. [1]
This finding can definitely be applied to all areas of our work, including and especially ministry.
We all want to improve. We all want to develop our technical skills. Many times, we focus on improving our game in areas like preaching, teaching, writing, facebook live editing (as of 1st quarter 2020!), etc. We pursue degrees. We join cohorts. We attend live webinars. Most of them related to expertise in our area.
But what about our people skills?
I’m not a huge fan of “studies” and “models”, but if Carnegie is even half right about the above percentages, it would seem that we should focus more attention on developing the skills of relating to others.
Leadership is influence. Influence comes from relationships.
Build your relationships, build your influence, build your leadership. That’s the process.
“Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it.” Colossians 4:17
“Take heed” means to consider, to think about, to look out for.
Literally, it means “to see” your ministry.
I must take regular, intentional time to think about, pray about, plan, and prepare my ministry – the ministry the Lord Jesus has assigned to me – or I may be in danger of missing the mark.
Intentional, thoughtful service is a hallmark of a mature believer.
When do you take time to think deeply and pray earnestly about your ministry?
People follow leaders that they can trust and respect.
Trust is based on integrity and respect is based on vision.
A leader with no integrity will soon have no followers. Even more so a leader with no vision.
Jesus is the greatest leader Who ever lived, and this is what Isaiah said about Him:
In mercy the throne will be established; And One will sit on it in truth, in the tabernacle of David, Judging and seeking justice and hastening righteousness.
Isaiah 16:5
Mercy. Truth. Justice. Righteousness.
That is a Leader I am grateful to be following for all eternity!
